Dumb Things isn’t smart, clever or funny. It’s just dumb…and maybe a little funny.

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Recommended Listening: Cam’ron Ft. Vado – Like Shiiit

Wuttup Loosers,

Danny Carmichael here, the one and only official LOOSEWORLD intern. So it’s been a few months and I’m still beatin’ off around LOOSEWORLD. It’s cleaned up a lot around here, and there’s even room for me to take my naps when I need to. Other than that it’s same ‘ol same ol’ shit. We’ve been makin all sorts of fineass entertainment while keepin’ it loose.

Today I’m supposed to be reviewing artists submissions, but I can’t help but think about this girl I met at the club a few weeks ago who keeps telling me she’s knocked up. I mean, I know the state will pay for whatever offspring I never wanted or whatever, but what if she’s like, double pregnant? Does that mean I have to pay for one of them? Cuz kids man, that shits like, for life. Also, what if one of them isn’t mine? Like, one comes out mine and the other comes out “Wild Card”. I’m only payin’ for mine, that’s for sure. Unless the state pays for it, then I’m not paying for anything. Also, what if they come out and grow up lookin’ the same and shit? That’s fucked up. It would be like mirrors coming to life?! Next time, I’ll be sure not to lie about wearin’ a condom, that’s for sure.

Speaking of families, I can’t wait for this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos.

I watched this 17 minute long infomercial and got the biggest hard-on thinking about getting to see Coolio live and in concert! There’ll also be comedians, like Gallagher and Tom Green, and at Ladies Night Lil Kim is headlining! But more than anything, this is a gathering about friends and whatever, and I can’t wait to feel the love.

It’s just like the Insane Clown Posse says in their song, “Miracles.” “Fuckin rainbows after it rains, there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains”. That’s what I’ve been thinking about every day. Like, the fact I got to work only 15 minutes late today is a miracle. Or like, how my weed continues to stay good even though it’s not in an airtight container, that’s a real miracle. Or even how giraffes have long necks or whatever, like, who gets to see miracles like that anymore?

Anyways, my brother, who works at William Morris, is always telling me to do something good for the world, which is why I came to LOOSEWORLD in the first place. I figured after I make some cash, I can give some money back to the people who really need it, like strippers and hos. As soon as LOOSEWORLD takes me as seriously as I should be taken and starts a big ‘ol cash flow to my pants pockets, I’m gonna be just like Eminem and “get more ass than a toilet seat”.

On that note, I gotta go pick up some motherfuckin’ office supplies and shit from staples. They got a coupon and everything. Allz I know is I’ma keep it real, and pick up a real pimp ball point pen for myself. It will just be one more accessory proving what a hard worker I am.

Peace out Bitches,
Danny